Research

I waited about a day after the appointment to start my research. I was terrified of what I might see.  I was determined to find some other women that were going through the same thing and children that had been through this too. I did find some women on Babycenter. Then soon after found that some had blogs about there experiences. These women and there stories are amazing. It just confirmed God's plan for Andy and I. Through all of this we will rest our faith in God that he will provide and give us peace in whatever we are given . I am determined to share my experience with others that might be faced with this one day and hopefully give them hope and confidence to trust in the Lord.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord will all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all you ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.


I found some of this info on another Omphalocele mom's blog and thought it was helpful.Thank you Jackson's mom!

http://www.chop.edu/consumer/jsp/division/generic.jsp?id=81171 Children's Hospital of Philadelphia

http://allnurses.com/nicu-nursing-forum/omphalocele-baby-157511.html This is a nurses blog on taking care of omphalocele babies in the hospital.

http://fetus.ucsfmedicalcenter.org/omphalocele/

http://surgery.seattlechildrens.org/conditions_treated/omphalocele.asp Seatle Children's Hospital: General and Thoracic Surgery

Specialist Appointment

Andy and I didn't really know what  to expect from this appointment. I was under the impression I would do some blood work and a ultrasound to check for any markers that would show a chromosome disorder.
Over the past couple weeks we had heard so many stories that this is just a precautionary and had to be done. It seemed as if people were coming out of the woodwork with a story like ours( The Dr. saw an abnormality but it turned out to be nothing) I too was praying this would be the case but in the back of my mind I kept telling myself this still a good possibility of not having a healthy baby. We'll anyway we got there did a lot of paperwork then we talked with a Genetics counselor who verified we would have an ultrasound done to measure the back of the baby's neck to see if there were any abnormalities. We went back to the waiting room and waited another 30min until we were called in to do our ultrasound. The ultrasound tech pulled up the monitor and showed us our baby. From what we could tell things looked normal but were are definitely not skilled in this area. Our baby moved around so much. It would throw its hands up and kick its legs. I was so happy to see our little one moving around. When I saw it moving its hands around I thought Its going to be a talker like me , moving its hands around and all. At one point the baby was sucking its thumb.
Andy and I thought at that point things were going well. The ultrasound tech said the Dr. would be in shortly to discuss the ultrasound with us. We we waited for another 20 min for the Dr, then another nurse came in and took us to the counseling room to meet with the Dr. I started to panic a bit while Andy seemed to think it was good news the Dr. dint have to come in to the ultrasound.I was just being a worry wort.

The Dr. sat down and and I knew something was wrong. He asked why we have been referred to him. I explained my OBGYN thought the thickness of the neck was thicker than normal. He said at this point that wasn't a concern. He did say our baby had what was called an " Omphalocele". He wrote the name out for us then showed us a picture. The baby's bowels were in the umbilical cord. He explained the risk and gave us the choice of going on with the pregnancy. At that point my mind went blank and I honestly didn't process anything else he said. All I could think is my baby isn't going to live.This man just gave us an option of eliminating our baby. I was so confused I just saw it moving around and looking like a baby. He did explain that with this condition there could be other abnormalities involved : heart problems or other chromosome disorders such as Downs or a type of Downs that the baby couldn't survive out of my stomach. I was still shocked and couldn't believe that was the 2nd thing our of his mouth. He did finally get to the fact some babies are perfectly healthy and just have to have surgery when born. He gave us the option of doing the amiocities to determine if our baby had any other abnormalities. Andy and I thought it would be best to wait so we could give the baby time to grow and truly see what was going on. I was only 12 weeks and the baby would change over these next couple weeks. We made our next appontment 6 weeks away. Andy was amazing. He asked questions when I couldn't .If I would have opened my mouth I probably would have cried uncontrollably. The doctor would ask if I had any questions and I would just shake my head. As soon as the doctor left I started crying. I didn't know what to think. We came for one thing and left with something totally different. I didn't know which one was worse. I was quiet all the way home. I got home and just laid down. I was exhausted.

Jesus - Bring The Rain - MercyMe

2nd Appointment

4 weeks went by quick. Andy had decided to go to all of the appointments he could, with the chance of hearing the baby's heartbeat. The appointment seemed to be going well and since we should be far along  the Dr. tried to hear the baby's heart beat on the Doppler. She searched around which seemed like an eternity and after about five minutes of nothing and only my lonely heartbeat. I started to cry. Andy just kept looking at me and saying " It's going to be fine" and at that point I thought we had lost the baby. I just kept praying over and over. Please Lord Let me hear my baby's heart beat and please give me the opportunity to be a mother. I knew trusting in him would be the only way I'd be able to get through this. The Dr. said sometimes it hard to find the heartbeat and said she wouldn't send us home all upset and unknowing of the life of our child. She said she'd send  us to ultrasound again. After she left the room I fell apart. I hugged and held on to Andy  I didn't want to leave the exam room and go to the ultrasound for the fear of not hearing and seeing our baby again.

Just waiting to go to ultrasound was overwhelming. We got in there and I laid down. I was terrified.I just continued to pray. As soon as the ultrasound tech brought up the picture and baby she said "I already see the heart beating'. And she confirmed the baby's heart was beating and at a good pace. We were excited again.
It was such a relief but a roller coaster of emotions. We left the Dr. office and I got into the car and started crying again but this time praising God I still had a chance at being a mother.


The next morning:


I went to work as normal, but around 9 a.m. I got a call from our Dr. She said she had reviewed our ultrasound photos and thought something looked abnormal with the baby's neck .Which could be a sign of Down Syndrome and other Chromosome Defects. She said she would like to send me to a specialist to see what was going on. I got off the phone and called Andy right away. It was like all of those feelings the day before had come back. I talked with him for a while and he calmed me down and again said everything will be fine. We both agreed If this is what God has planned for us, we could handle it. I also called my mom and told her the news. Our specialist appointment wasn't scheduled for another 2 weeks. Over that 2 weeks I went though a roller coaster of emotions but all the while trusted in the Lord. I remember the hardest thing for me to hear . My friend Grant said" Think about it - You and Andy are strong, healthy, young people why wouldn't God think you could handle a special child. This child could have been given to another family that may not able to support it or take care of it." I agreed and knew this was true, but inside I was still sad  of all the unknown.

The Party!

The week of the party we were trying to think of ways different was to share the news with everyone. Andy's birthday is the 20th so we decided to decorate the cake with our baby news. The next thing was to just get everyone together and get out the cake at the party.  We just decided to wing it. We got to the party and I was immediately anxious to get out the cake. Everyone had brought a dish and my parents had decided to do a fish fry. (Which by the way, they had been promising Andy to have since we've been together). . I finally ask my mom if it was OK to get out Andy's birthday cake while we had everyone around to dig into the food. She thankfully agreed and thought would be a good idea. All the while, Lee was busy making the fish. So I tried to drag him in the garage to celebrate Andy's Birthday and sing Happy Birthday. He was just looking a me like (What's the big Deal?), little did he know. So we got the cake out Andy made a little speech about the birthday cake ....yada yada yada... Just to get every one's attention most of them had the same look as Lee did. We unveiled the cake. My mom was standing next to me and I had her read the cake. She read it and didn't seem to get it . She thought it was Andy's Dads cake. So I had her read it again : and it said:
Happy Birthday Daddy! Baby Kremer arriving in April! She started jumping and gave me a big hug and from that everyone seem to catch on. Needless to say we never even sang Happy Birthday to Andy.

Our baby beginning!

Just at the thought of us becoming parents, I was excited. I was so excited that I couldn't wait to take the pregnancy test. We had decided about 3 months before we would try for a baby. The first two months went by and I really didn't think it would happen that quick, so I just relaxed and didn't worry about wasting money taking a pregnancy test. Well the third month rolled around and I just felt different. At the time we were working on Andy's house and found mold in the basement :( , the first thing I thought was : what if I'm pregnant and around all of this? I opted to pass on helping with it. For those of you who know me , that thought wouldn't be unusual because I can be over cautious and worry a bit. After that I went ahead and bought a 3pack of pregnancy test, just so I could be sure. The following morning I took the test. Andy wasn't home and I figured I'd surprise him. I had often thought of clever ways to tell him. I took the test and was really confused, there were two lines but one was so faint I thought it was negative, so I decided to wait the following morning and give it another try. I did tell Andy I had taken it but he was as unsure as I was. So he said wait until tomorrow. Although the line was barely there, I already had butterflies and couldn't wait till the morning. The next morning I woke up at 5:00 which is rare because I love my sleep. I laid there for about an hour, Andy still asleep and decided I would go ahead and take it. I took the 2nd one and the line was just a little darker, so I took the third and it seemed a little darker than the 2nd. I was still confused and not sure the results were true. Honestly I think I was a little shocked at the results. The package clearly said any 2 line means: Pregnant!
I went back to bed and just laid there think of the idea of being a mom and being able to share the news with Andy. Andy woke about 30 min late and said "We'll?" He knew what I had been up to. I shared with him that it was true and for a while we both just laid in bed with big smiles on our faces. The next question was when do we tell everyone. We both decided it was best to wait until our first appointment to make sure we were pregnant and everything was good. My family was having a cookout on Sept 11th . Andy and I decided we would wait and tell our families because both Andy and my family would be at the party. I remember making a promise to Andy not to tell anyone including my mom. I agreed. Although, It would be very hard not to share the news with her. I started to cry in the other room at just the thought of being able to tell her. I knew she would be so excited, but I stuck to my word and didn't tell her.


So the 8 week countdown began until the party.

Our first Appointment

Our first appointment went well . We both were anxious to confirm our pregnancy and meet our Obgyn. She did all the normal check ups and did confirm we were indeed pregnant. We were not far along enough to here the baby's heartbeat. So she sent us over to ultrasound to confirm the due date and hear the heartbeat. The ultrasound went by quick and we saw our little peanut for the first time. The heartbeat was amazing and was overwhelming to hear. I think if the ultrasound tech would have played it for another 5 seconds we both would have been crying like babies. I think that was the moment it really sunk in with Andy that he was a Dad.


Our next appointment would be in 4 weeks. Our due date is April 13th.