Normalcy brings overwhelming emotions

So I haven’t posted in a while. I haven’t forgotten about my blog or those of you still thinking of us. I actually have enjoyed the last month or so feeling like a normal pregnant women. No appointments or big milestones for us pass. Just me and my ever growing baby bump. I am getting bigger and can tell Jackson is too! He constantly moves and I know his sleep patterns now. He is a night owl. I really hope that changes but I’ll take him anyway I can get him.  Along with feeling normal I've had some emotions that at times can be overwhelming. I think by letting myself feel normal I’ve let my guard down a bit.  Andy seems to think its hormones. I do agree, but every pregnant women experiences anxiety, worry and stress. I just think our situation has intensified all of those 200% or more. I have grown so attached to him and couldn’t imagine not having him in my life. My biggest obstacle is not being negative about the plan we have been given. My biggest fear is the plan for us as a family wouldn’t include our baby boy.  I know Gods plan for us or Jackson is so much bigger than just our little family. And I will continue to ask that he might use us to glorify him through this hard time. I also ask him continue to mold me into becoming the best women, sister, mother, wife, friend, and daughter possible through this experience.

Our next appointment is Jan. 14^th. We’ll be in Indy all day. We will check in with our specialist. Have a look at our little one on the ultrasound, then meet with Surgeon and tour the NICU. We are hoping and praying for an uneventful trip.  Just good news for our little boy!

This is on my desk at work. When I’m feeling overwhelmed, as corney as it may  sound, I tell myself “ I am captivating and I should be reassured that God is my partner through this experience no matter how much I might hurting or question his plan he will continue to love us and protect us.

You are Gods Partner in mothering – in bringing forth life in another. While your heart drinks deeply and rest’s in God’s good heart, he “mothers” you so you continue to become ever more truly the women he created you to be- the women you truly are.

A life-giver

And Utterly Captivating.

-Staci Eldredge